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Dealing with fear or phobia
14-10-2016, 11:25 PM
Post: #1
Dealing with fear or phobia
Dear friends, I thought that I would ask if you know of any tantric or yogic ways of dealing with emotion of fear, or lets make it even little worse, dealing with specific phobias.

I ll use this example - a person is affected by fear or phobia of women, or getting intimate with them, but at the same time this person feels also deep affection and desire towards women. It is as if two opposing forces are present at the same time.

And I would like to ask - how would tantric or yogic teaching explain the situation where the fear has the upper hand? And also, does the teaching suggest any more or less specific ways how one can overcome certain negative emotion such as fear, so that positive forces would be put in force?

Thank you,
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19-10-2016, 10:19 PM
Post: #2
RE: Dealing with fear or phobia
(14-10-2016 11:25 PM)johnny319 Wrote:  Dear friends, I thought that I would ask if you know of any tantric or yogic ways of dealing with emotion of fear, or lets make it even little worse, dealing with specific phobias.

I ll use this example - a person is affected by fear or phobia of women, or getting intimate with them, but at the same time this person feels also deep affection and desire towards women. It is as if two opposing forces are present at the same time.

And I would like to ask - how would tantric or yogic teaching explain the situation where the fear has the upper hand? And also, does the teaching suggest any more or less specific ways how one can overcome certain negative emotion such as fear, so that positive forces would be put in force?

Thank you,

@johnny319
Indeed the tantric and yogic teachings deal with these issues extensively, offering many tools and perspectives how to overcome such chalanges. We cannot cover here all these. but we can mention a few of them (but there are also other perspectives which can be of great use):

A very good way to overcome negative emotions is simply to chose an opposing state. If we are afraid - we cannot try not to be afriad - that means we are just putting attention to the fear and this way we feed the fear. instead, we should focus ona satte opposite to the fear - courage. so try to be courages, we aim to feel courage, we evoke a emmory of a time whe we were courages and recall how it felt, we look at a film with someone courageous and aim to identify with them. doign these things we put our attention on the state of courage - and so we feed the state of courage and it increases. as we feed again and again the courage, and we starve the fear (since we dont fed it with our attention) - eventually the courage will become stronger then the fear and will overcome it.

There are also specific yogic techniques which directly empower and awaken the quaity of courage in oru being. practicing these techniques will increase the courage in us. Such techniques need to be learnt from a competent yoag teacher who has been initiaited in the esoteirc aspects of the yogic teachings.

if the fear manifests mostly in connection to intimacy (you are not generaly speaking a fearful person, but regarding intimacy you do experience alot of fear) - then this suggests that the main issue is not fear, but rather a fear of intimacy. this is the reaction of the ego - since a deep hearfelt intimacy is a great threat to the ego which affirms itsfel through separation from everyone else. A sollurion for this will be to open the heart to love. also here the same eleemnts mentioned above about courage are valid - evkoe states of love you had in the past, try to love as much and as often as you can - wish to love. find any spark of love which is in your being and feed it with attention so it cna gorw to a big flame. also here exist yogic techniques that can open the heart ina evry beautiful and powerful way.

another element that cna help to overcome the fear of intimacyis to train yourself out of it, or get used with the intimacy. Use the courage and love to get close to a woman and open to intmacy with her - to the extent you are capbale. when at some point the intimacy growes beyond a level that you are comfortable with and you start to feel to afraid - you cna politly withdraw to being alone and then work alone to get rid of the fear (since the womna is not there there is nothing to be afraid of) BUT IN THE SAME TIME KEEP THE HEART OPENNES AND THE INTIMACY. then when the fear is gone, once again get close to the woman and open for intimacy. the level you have reaced befre would be easy to regain, but now you go even deeper to deeper intimacy - until you reach another limit and again you get scared. then you again act as mentioend above. repeating this procedure you will gain more and more ground gradualy. eventualy - even the reaction of fear will become evident to be just an ilusion and will not have anymore power over you.

these are just a few of the perspectve that yoga has to offer on this topic.
i hope this is of use for you.
with love.
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21-10-2016, 12:06 AM
Post: #3
RE: Dealing with fear or phobia
Thank you very much, your words are very helpful, I could not hope for better advice. I also had an intuitive suspition that fostering emotion of love could be the way.

You summed up the problematic really profoundly, so I dont have too much more to ask. Maybe just one thing - while one is striving for such a goal, as overcoming fear (or even any other goal), he might come across successes but also failures along the way. I would like to ask you, what is the proper reaction to momentarily failure?

I suspect that reacting with negative emotions such as anxiety, anger, frustration etc. can be counterproductive, but on the other hand, these negative emotions can sometimes motivate one towards some positive action.

When one reacts calmly and avoids negative emotion, there is also danger that one stays in stagnation and does nothing.

What do you think of this?
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